James 3:1-12
Sticks and stones may break my bones but names will never
hurt me. Do you remember saying that in
your younger years? It’s one of those
childhood sayings that echoes across the school playgrounds of our memory, and
it’s even heard today anyplace where children gather together. Words may not literally
break our bones but words do have great strength and power: the power to harm
and the power to heal. We are called to be good stewards of our personal household
of words.
It is amazing to think about how powerful an impact one
little word can have. There are many
words I’ve received from mentors, coaches and friends over the years that have
had a significant impact on my life. It
was usually some small, informal, off-hand comment that spoke volumes to me
then and sticks with me now.
It only takes a spark to get a fire going. One little bite from a deer tick can sick in
someone with Lyme’s disease to the point of death. There are times when I have
said certain words or comments that got me in a lot of trouble. Who hasn’t had their mouth washed out with
soap before? We need to be mindful of
the words we say.
This is especially true when you have small ears all around.
Those small, little ears have big, loud mouths who like to repeat what they
hear and at the most inopportune times.
Undisciplined speech poses a constant threat to our integrity. We are called to manage our household of
words.
The human tongue may be
applied to the cause of evil, or to good. The tongue can deliver a testimonial
address to enable an innocent man go free. It can also taunt and mock and
needle and nag. The tongue can swear allegiance. It can also tell lies, or
cheat or vainly boast. The tongue can utter public prayer. Or, it can befoul
the air with profanity. The tongue can offer a wedding vow. Or, it can whisper
sweet, adulterous nothings into a lover's ear.
We've all witnessed the
power of the tongue to make a person wilt in embarrassment, to bring that
"I-wish-I-could-just-sink-into-the-floor" look to the face. Sometimes
such criticisms can be veiled as a compliment:
"I'll bet you've
been dieting! Why, you're looking sooo good!"
"I'm so glad you
didn't go out of your way to clean before we came over!"
"You're going to
have big shoes to fill, as the new pastor of this church!"
Metaphors for the tongue
In our scripture reading
today, James picks up two additional metaphors for the tongue: first, by
equating it with a rudder for a ship, and, second, by comparing it to
a spark that has the potential to light a forest ablaze. The
relatively tiny rudder of a very large ship has as much to do with where the
ship goes according to the "will" of the pilot, as does the wind that
drives the sails (v. 4). Like a small rudder on a large ship, the words we use
have the ability to steer us toward safety or disaster. We have to be diligent
in taking the wheel (v. 5). Even a small word, ill-spoken and timed, can set a
whole forest fire of disaster in motion -- a "world of iniquity" that
corrupts the whole person and those around him or her (v. 6).
Words have power to heal
or destroy -- or to save. I want to tell you a story about an internet game that
was instrumental in saving the life of an Australian man with heart problems.
According to a story in Digg.com, Australian resident Georgie Fletcher met Beth
Legler from Blue Springs, Missouri, through a random Words With Friends game
on-line. Georgie's husband Simon was experiencing some health problems, which
Beth described to her husband Larry, who is a doctor.
Larry recognized the
symptoms and urged Simon to go to a hospital, which turned out to be just in
time, since Simon had a 99% blockage near his heart -- an extremely serious
condition.
"Had Larry not sent
that message I don't think Simon would have gone to the doctor that day,"
Beth said.
Three months later, Simon
is alive and well and very thankful for that Words With Friends game. "I owe Larry everything ... I'm
really lucky to be here," admits Simon.
Words have power.
We've all been in
situations where a simple yes or no, or the mere compliance with a request,
would have prevented a whole string of other disasters. Whether we're trying to
assert our "rights" or trying to impress others, we get into trouble
when our words aren't friendly and our speech isn't tightly controlled. Not
that that's easy to do, either. James makes it clear that the tongue isn't like
an animal that can be tamed by the human species. Instead, it's untamable; a
"restless evil filled with deadly poison" (vv. 7-8).
Such a statement would
seem to provide us with an excuse for the dumb things we say. Whether we're in
an airplane seat, at the water cooler at work, or at home, we know that there
are times when things just come out of us in the form of words that don't seem
so friendly. But James won't let us get away with that kind of thinking.
Indeed, the only way to control the tongue is to monitor what's happening
inside us on a deeper level.
James says, for example,
it’s with our tongues that we both "bless the Lord and Father" and
"curse those who are made in the [image and] likeness of God" (v. 9).
What the tongue reveals at that point, it seems, is a kind of double-mindedness
that separates people from God. When we are double-minded or, perhaps worse,
single-minded in our own selfish ways, we have a tendency to dehumanize people
and see ourselves as always being in a game in which we have to be the winner.
If you believe you deserve more than others and are superior to them, you will
treat them with contempt.
I started reading a book
by Malcolm Gladwell, “Blink: The Power of Thinking without Thinking”. Chapter two is about the theory of
thin-slicing: how a little bit of knowledge can go a long way.” John Gottman is a leading expert and
developer of this theory using it in marriage counseling. After watching thousands of couples in
counseling, he figured out that he doesn’t need to pay attention to everything
that happens in these conversations.
There are four emotions he listens for: defensiveness, stonewalling,
criticism and contempt. Gottman can
listen to a short conversation between a husband and a wife and tell you in
minutes whether or not the couple’s marriage is in trouble. Of the four emotions, he considers contempt
the most important of all. It’s worse
than criticism because contempt is any statement made from a higher level, from
a mental posture of superiority. When we
insult someone, we are in essence trying to put that person on a lower plane
than ourselves. Words have power to
heal, save or destroy. Speaking to
anyone with contempt is demeaning, dehumanizing to the individual and
destructive to the greater community.
There's an old adage that
says if you really want to know about a person's character, watch how that
person treats the waiter at a restaurant. Does he or she treat this person as a
person, or merely as a servant? Kind words aren't meant only for friends. We're
to offer them to everyone because they, like us, are made in God's image. You
can't bless God and curse his image at the same time.
The Importance of Our Inner Lives
The truth is if we want
to have any control over the tongue, we need to pay attention to our inner
lives from which either blessing or cursing can come. To manage the tongue’s power takes all the
control and grace we can muster.[1] Does the inner spring in our lives gush with
both fresh and brackish water? (v. 11). Can a fig tree yield olives? Does salt
water spontaneously turn fresh? (v. 12). No, what's inside a person determines
the kind of fruit that comes out in the form of words and deeds.
If we're going to be the
kind of people who use words wisely, then we've got to first cultivate an inner
life that sees all people as a friend created in God's image. We need a vision
of life that doesn't put us at the center of the universe, but rather centers us
on God and God's purposes. We must recognize that the gifts we possess are ours
on loan from God. The way we use our
gifts either honor or shame God.
The God who spoke the
word of creation and sent the Word to become flesh in his own Son, urges us to
choose the kind of words that reflect his character, life and love; to be the
one who knows how to use the gifts we have as God intended them to be
used. The faithful steward manages the
tongue with care and concern for others and especially for God. Amen.
[1]
Mosser, David N. The Stewardship Companion: Lectionary Resources for
Preaching. (Louisville: Westminster John
Knox Press, 2007) p.146.
No comments:
Post a Comment